Chapter 248: A Storm-out of the Diner, Lorelai Vs. Rory/Dinah Vs. Janie, Alex and Charlene…

(Burke sisters bond closer.)

(Dual face goes for full recovery)

The hayride wagon passes by them, with a glum Lane sandwiched between two Korean boys on the back. Miss Patty stands in the doorway of her dance studio watching over a class of little girls.

“Miss Patty owns and runs a dance studio in Stars Hollow and had a career in show business as a dancer, when she was younger. She is a notorious gossip who frequently shares information with Babette Dell among others. Soft-married, oft-divorced dance instructor. She often makes name-dropping references to her past as a dancer and singer; how much of it is true is unknown.

She’s usually seen lusting after young men that she wished she could marry again. She and Babette know most of the gossip of the town, though Babette mentions that Patty normally gets the town gossip before her because her phone intercepts other people’s phone calls. After (or perhaps even before) Taylor, she seems to be the most influential citizen of Stars Hollow. Her dance studio is used for town meetings, among other community events.”

MISS PATTY: One-two-three. One-two-three. One-two-three. It’s a waltz, ladies. Susie, do you have to tinkle? Then uncross your legs, darling. *Suddenly turning to see Rory* Oh, Rory, good. I think I found a job for your male friend.

LORELAI: What male friend?

MISS PATTY: They need a stock boy at the supermarket. I already talked to Taylor Doose about him. You just send him around tomorrow.

RORY: Okay, thanks.

LORELAI: What male friend?

MISS PATTY: Oh , he’s very cute. You have good taste.

Miss Patty turns back to her dance class.

MISS PATTY: Hands in the air, not in the nose.

Rory starts walking quickly down the street, and Lorelai follows her.

LORELAI: Oh, you’re gonna have to walk faster than that. You’re gonna have to turn into friggin’ Flo Jo to get away from me.

As that was going on…

Dinah and her girls were going the same direction as Lorelai and Rory were. It was clear that Dinah and her daughters were gonna be spending the night at Lorelai’s house. Hikaru was gonna be spending the night at Curtis and Megan’s house.

As they were walking…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Erica H.: *Troll-oping on her horse riding up next to Janie, Alex and Charlene* hey there girls. What’s up?

Janie: *Looking up while walking on* Hey Cowgirl Harper… What’s up?

Erica H.: Not much. I kinda came to find you guys.

Alex: Really? Anything new?

Erica H.: Depends. However… I did some looking around and found something that your male friends that you crossed with… might like. There’s a Newspaper office that’s looking for an assistant Editor in chief. To help pick up the slack a bit from time to time. There is also a book store that has help wanted. They’re looking for an assistant there. The guy who happened to possess a kindle account. He’d be perfect for the job. The Manager at the Book store… Fredrick Dudley… is looking to meet him. So… send him there. Tomorrow. There’s also an opening for par time at Oliver garden that just opened up the other week and then barely got done with it’s grand opening. They’re looking for waiters. I did some talking with the Manager there and she’s a real pleasant gal. She wants to see Gregory tomorrow. If things go well… that job will be as good as his.

Janie: Thanks.

Alex: That’ll help Cowgirl Harper. Thank you.

Charlene: It’ll help things for them.

Zoey Creek: *Walking over from behind the horse* Hey guys… You’re not gonna believe this.

Janie: *Looking to see Zoey Creek* Hey. What’s the excitement?

Zoey Creek: Did you know… that your friend Leslie is thinking about registering into that Preparatory school?

Alex: Huh? No… We didn’t know. But it isn’t like it’d change our minds on going. We just don’t feel that it’s the right time to be going to Chilton. It’s just bad timing.

Zoey Creek: Wow. You girls are truly confusing…

front

At The Burke Mansion…

Leslie: Laura, We’re sisters. I gotta know something about you though. Like… Is there something going on about you?

Laura: *Sighs* Yeah. There is. There is something more about me that you haven’t been told of yet.

Leslie: Like what? *Curious*

Laura: I’m a transgender.

Leslie: A Transgender? *Tilting her head a bit* What’s that?

Laura: Transgender: denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender.

Leslie: So… you’re… a boy… Biologically. But identity wise… and physical sense… you’re a girl. in a boy’s body… But having the procedures and the surgeries that transformed you into a girl from a boy. Because your identity is of a female. So… i have a brother technically but one that believes… feels and acts in suit of a sister. One that is in every sense and legally a sister. An actual girl. Just not Biological.

Laura: Yeah.

Leslie: Laura… why… *Sighs* Why didn’t you just come out and tell me?

Laura: because i was afraid that you would wind up not liking me if you were to ever find out that i was… different.

Leslie: *A Little insulted* That happens to peg me as a snob. It is not like that at all. I don’t ever come off as a snob. Not ever. I still think of you as my sister. Okay? I couldn’t care less if you were to tell me that you were some example of a Pseudo-hermaphrodite. You’re my sister. So what… You’re a Transgender. Who cares? No one. At least i don’t. You’re still a human being. Still a person. Just because you’re gender confused and with a gender identity crisis. It doesn’t make you any more or less of a person or a human being.

Laura: *nods*

Leslie: Come on… It’s after dinner. You’re here wanting to hang out with me. Like sisters do and i of course look forward to that greatly. So… What do you want to do? What would you like to do? Watch a movie? Play a game?

Laura: Maybe watch a movie or two…

Leslie: Yeah. Sounds good. I got halloween. 1 and 2. Janie Jones. Nancy Drew.

Laura: Nancy Drew. Isn’t that with that actress… Emma Roberts?

Leslie: Sure is.

Laura: Okay. Can we watch that one?

Leslie: Sure. But before we do… We better make some popcorn and dig up some soda.

Laura: Okay.

While Leslie was off making some popcorn…

Laura: *Looking at the pictures on the wall* … *Suddenly getting lost within the pictures and daydreaming*

However as she was daydreaming, she looked to the side and saw some DVD’s that consisted of a couple comedians. She couldn’t help but be curious of them. Curious of what they were… She went over to look at them and saw something that she could laugh at.

Laura: I wonder who this guy is… *Looking at the name* Carlin. He’s a comedian. *Pulling the disc out and putting it in the player; Playing it*

T.V: *Playing the Comedy Performance-Carlin.* “George Carlin: Folks, here’s something else I got a problem with: the Ten Commandments. Here’s my problem. Why are there ten? You don’t need ten. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. It’s a padded list. Here’s what they did. About five thousand years ago, a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people. How to keep ’em in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments. Up on a mountain, when NO ONE was around… 

Laughter…

God had given them the Ten Commandments. But let me ask you this: When they were sitting around making this shit up, why did they pick ten? Why ten? Why not nine, or eleven? I’ll tell you why: ’cause ten sounds official.

Laughter… 

Ten sounds important. They knew if it was eleven, people wouldn’t take it seriously. Say “What, are you kidding me? The Eleven Commandments? Get the fuck out of here.” But ten… ten sounds important. Ten is the basis for the decimal system. It’s a decade. It’s a psychologically satisfying number. The top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed. So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision. And, to me, it’s clearly a bullshit list. It’s a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I’m gonna show you how you could reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that’s a little more workable and logical. We’re going to start with the first three, and I’ll use the Roman Catholic version ’cause those are the ones I was taught as a little boy. “I am the Lord, thy God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me, thou shalt not take the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain, thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath.” Right off the bat, the first three – pure bullshit.

Laughter and applause…

Sabbath… Sabbath day, Lord’s name, strange gods. Spooky language. SPOOKY LANGUAGE!

Laughter…

Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! You’re down to seven. Next, honor thy father and mother. Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is obedience and respect should not be automatic, they should be earned. They should be based on the parents’ performance.

Applause…

Parents’ performance. All right? Some parents deserve respect, most of them don’t. Period. You’re down to six. Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we’re gonna jump around the list a little bit. Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness. Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior. Dishonesty, stealing and lying. So you don’t need two of them. Instead, you combine them and you call it “Thou shalt not be dishonest.” And suddenly, you’re down to five. And as long as we’re combining, I have two others that belong together. Thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife. Once again, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior. In this case, marital infidelity. The difference is coveting takes place in the mind, and I don’t think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else’s wife. Otherwise, what’s a guy gonna think about when he’s waxing his carrot?

Laughter…

But… but marital fidelity is a good idea, so we’re gonna keep the idea and call this one “Thou shalt not be unfaithful”. And suddenly, we’re down to four. But when you think about it, honesty and fidelity are really part of the same overall value. So, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative, and call the whole thing “Thou shalt always be honest and faithful”, and we’re down to three.

Applause…

Thou shalt… thou shalt… they’re going away. They’re going away fast. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods. This one is just plain fucking stupid.

Laughter…

Coveting your neighbor’s goods is what keeps the economy going. Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays “O Come All Ye Faithful”, you wanna get one, too! Coveting creates jobs, leave it alone. You throw out coveting, you’re down to two now. The big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven’t talked about yet, “Thou shalt not kill”. Murder. The fifth commandment. But when you think about it…

Laughter…

When you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. Not really. More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.

Applause…

All you have to do… sure. Uh huh. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, the Middle East, Kashmir, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folk take “Thou shalt not kill”. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable.

Applause…

It’s negotiable. You know? It depends. It depends. It depends on who’s doing the killing and who’s getting killed. So with all of this in mind, I leave you with my revised list of the Two Commandments. Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie…

Laughter…

…and thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone. Unless, of course, they pray to a different invisible man from the one you pray to.”

Laura: *Laughing and giggling* He is funny. How is he coming up with that stuff? He just made fun of the ten commandments.

T.V: *Playing the Comedy Performance-Carlin.* “Now, the government has asked us all to come up with suggestions and ideas that we might have to help them to fight terrorism. That’ll give you an idea of how much shit THEY have on the shelf. Okay?

Laughter…

Yeah. And like any good citizen, I’m ready with my suggestions. Now, first of all, overseas, in Afghanistan, I think you have to use the most powerful weapon you have. In this case, chemical warfare of a type never used before. And I’m talking about the Flatulent Airborne Reaction Team.

Laughter…

F-A-R-T, FART. Here’s what you do. You take thousands of overweight, male NFL football fans, okay? Thousands of them. We’re gonna start with a nucleus of Giants fans and Jets fans. Gotta start with that nucleus.

Applause…

Now, it might be necessary, it might be necessary, to include some Bills fans and Eagles fans, too, okay? This is war; you can’t be choosy. And I’m also thinking about getting some of those big, fat cocksuckers who root for the teams in the NFC Central, you know? Chicago Bears fans, Green Bay Packers fans, guys who eat a lot of bratwurst. Okay?

Laughter…

And all of these guys have to be over 200 pounds. What you do is for thirty days, you put them on a diet of nothing but cheese, cabbage, and beer.

Laughter…

Okay? That’s all they get for thirty days. For many of these men, this will not be a new diet.

Laughter…

You fill them up with cheese, cabbage, and beer, and you drop them into Afghanistan, where they commence chemical warfare of the highest order. You send three-man FART squads into every cave and tunnel in Afghanistan.

Laughter…

Just send them in there. All right? And then ya smoke them out. That’s right. These good citizens will release horrendous, deadly farts. The kind of fart that could kill cancer.

Laughter…

The kind of fart that comes in handy if you have something that needs welding.

Laughter…

The kind of fart that if you let one go at home, thirty minutes later, your plants are all yellow.

Laughter…

The kind of fart that after two or three days, you begin to realize there are no more birds in your neighborhood.

Laughter…

A fart that would eat the stitching out of Levis.

Laughter…

Can I get away with one more fart joke here?

Applause…

The kind of fart whereby the Centers for Disease Control declares your pants a level five biohazard.

Laughter…

Now, that takes care of overseas. All right. Now, that’s overseas. On the domestic side, in this country, and before I tell you my plan for the domestic side, I want to, uh, because it does come from a kind of New York frame of mind, I want to mention my New York credentials, and they are as follows: I was born on this island, Manhattan island, therefore I was born in New York City, New York County, and New York State.

Applause…

City, county, and state. And besides that, and on top of that, I was born at New York Hospital on East 63rd Street. But here’s the capper, something you don’t know. You know where I was conceived? Rockaway Beach.

Laughter and applause…

Rockaway. That’s right. In a hotel on Beach 116th Street called Curley’s Hotel. 1936, so if you hear or see anything later on about New York, you’ll know my credentials are in good order. Here’s what you do domestically. You take Don Imus’ advice, and you tell this Tommy Thompson and Tom Ridge “good try, nice going, we’ll see you later.” And in charge of the whole domestic thing, you put Rudolph Giuliani, an Italian from Brooklyn.

Cheers and applause…

Okay?

Laura: *Laughing and rolling on the floor* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA! Funny. Carlin is insane.

Leslie: *Walking in with the Popcorn and Soda* Laura… What’re you doing? *Hearing the T.V play Carlin* Oh… my. Tell me you didn’t just watch him.

Laura: Yeah. i did. But only while i happened to be waiting for you to get back with the popcorn and Soda. I like this guy. He’s funny. Really funny. *As Carlin* “The kind of fart whereby the Centers for Disease Control declares your pants a level five biohazard.”

Leslie: *Laughs; setting the popcorn and soda on the end table* You’re gonna get me in trouble if mom and dad find out that you’ve been watching Carlin. They don’t want you watching him. You’re not old enough to watch stuff on Carlin. But…Seeing that you’re having a good time. That is the main thing.

Leslie and Laura bonded closer that night and yet… Leslie still had something to let out to the others. She was also with a consideration towards enrolling into Chilton. As was Betty. Blossom too. But no one really could be sure that she was gonna enroll. Who’d enroll her?

As for The Metropolis D.A…

At Rikku’s and Nick’s house…

Rikku L. Rhapsody: *Disgusted* I can’t believe that i am hearing this coming from your mouth, Nick. You actually think that this is gonna be all forgotten? You’re still with half of your face looking like it got blasted by heat vision and given a fatal dose of 3rd degree burns. You’ve gone to work like that for weeks now. You now dare to tell me that it’s not that big of a deal? Nick… This is a big deal. It always has been. You have an image to upkeep. One that the city needs.

Nick: *Aggravated* Why is all the pressure on me? Huh? Does it look like i have a choice? You weren’t the one with half your face soaked in diesel fuel. Okay? *feeling angry* You weren’t the one lying in the hospital bed in agonizing pain. with the belief that the better half was dead and going into a phase where everyone was a target and an enemy as you thought that everyone around you might just as well had a hand in what happened to the one that they loved. I was. I almost killed the Commissioner’s son. Because of it. So don’t you start that bull. I have known that i am the symbol of Law for the city. I know… But what the hell do you frickin’ want from me, Rikku? huh? What?

Rikku L. Rhapsody: Oh… okay. Hey. Mr. D.A… Mr. Ego-tistical Sourpuss. You know… I’m hanging on by a thread here. I lost my contact with my daughters, my contact with my sister as i haven’t heard from any of my daughters or my sisters for the last couple of months, my shot at getting a promotion at work, my thought to be happy marriage, and – this just in – my Husband’s caring and loving nature. Pretty much the only two things that haven’t disappeared are my good health and the fact that i even exist. So forgive me if I’m not too thrilled about being lectured, by a man who happens to be half of a man that is my husband, about being a crummy example of a sympathetic spouse who is just scared and terrified about whether the procedure to repair his face will work or just make it worse.

Nick: Rikku, It isn’t like that. But i have to do something about this. If this guy can help fix me… Get my face even a fraction of the way repaired and fixed up… It’s worth the risk. I have to take it. I want my happy life back. I am tired of seeing the pain in your eyes as you have to continue seeing a man who is only half as what he once was. You deserve better. I am sorry that you haven’t heard from your daughters or sister in a while. I am… But they’re all breaking off from one another slowly but progressively.

Rikku L. Rhapsody: Why?

Nick: 2 reasons… 1. Because of someone cheating on their Spouse and then sometime after… breaking from them and leaving the entire clan. Changing his last name and with a new family. 2. because of a certain young girl… i think that you know her as a Sakura… delving into the fetish of wearing diapers and smoking. Plus being disowned and sent away. The girl is believed to be living with her boyfriend. But that is only a speculation.

Rikku L. Rhapsody: It’s because of all that… that the family has steadily lost contact with one another?

Nick: That is primarily the reasons as to why the family is not as together as they once were. Although in time… they may be back as one again. But it’s gonna take a little time. Right now… They’re in process of healing. re-assessing their assets and thinking towards where to go from where they’re at currently. Whether they will be willing to gradually make amends and reconnect. Or if the mess that they’re dealing with. The two issues that had hit will be the beginning of the end for the entire clan and they start spreading out away from one another. Either by changing names or by moving to different states. or Countries. Thereby locking in the fate of the Dynasty. confirming the fall and the official end of the Rhapsody Dynasty.

Rikku L. Rhapsody: It won’t get like that. I know my daughters too too well. There is no way that it will get that way. Ever.

She was now talking about other things. Anything that could take her mind off of the fact that her husband Nick was gonna go for a full recovery. That he was gonna get his face repaired. That was what scared her. Because of the possibility that something could still go wrong. But as she spoke of other things… Getting her mind on anything that would drive her mind off of the thought of her husband’s face issue… It started getting better. She started to really calm down quite a bit. What she didn’t know was that her daughter Dinah was strapped to a deal that was the same as Lorelai’s deal dilemma. However… There was something going on between Lorelai and her daughter… Between Dinah and her daughters Janie, Alex and Charlene. What was said to come from the snag in the set up for Chilton? Would it ever come out that there could be more people going to Chilton? Find out in the next chapter of the Adventures of the Rhapsody Girls Z! as the saga continues…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s